Tears flowing freely...

Job Chapter 3: 1-7
Finally Job broke the silence and cursed the day on which he had been born.
Job "O God, put a curse on the day I was born; put a curse on the nnight when I was conceived! Turn that day into darkness, God. Never again remember that day; never again let light shine on it. Make it a day of gloom and darkness; cover it with clouds, and blot out the sun. Blot that night out of the year, and never let it be counted again; make it a barren joyous night.

Why is that carrying your cross makes you feel like Job? And when will one find redemption as he does in the final chapter?

I cried today.

O2 wireless festival with James

Mr Blunt of course. Also described as Mr Bland but he actually rocked for the show at this festival. Although, calling it a festival would seem to be pushing it. At times it felt like a fun fair but had a very enjoyable day with Bex drinking pear cider, lots of Pimm's (it was on offer, to be fair) and listened to lots of nice music. It helped to dampen the previous suicidal notions, which will return tomorrow when I look at my data again.

But on the myspace stage, Roddy Hart stood out. Nice melodies and someone who can actually sing instead of screaming out the words of the lyrics they wrote.

Listened to most of the main stage, Nizlopi, The Eels, Zero 7 and unimitable James Blunt. Overheard Killa Kela whilst sat on the sun lounge drinking Pimms. Nizlope were great!! Two guys, one plays guitar the other plays double bass and they shot to stardom singing about a 5-year old boy sitting on a JCB with his dad so he wouldn't have to go to school where he got bullied. I imagined them to be a bit folksy but there was some rapping, some beatbox and a very tuneful double bass playing. Reminds me of the guy in Barenaked Ladies when he does gigs, if you've been to one of their gigs, you know how he just goes mad and everyone gets in a frenzy. Zero 7 was nice and electronic chill out. They had one hit and some other good songs, but chill out electronic music never makes it big around here. Very odd.

Mr Bland/Blunt impressed me. I'll admit, I like his music anyways so would have stood around but his show was quite good. Better than I gave him credit for. Guess this is where PR and marketing come to play. He doesn't sit on a stool with his guitar but rather jumps up and down and has a crazy keyboard player who does a silly dance..
There was a whole thing going on with the crowd throwing balls around.












Hello Mr Blunt *wink* *wink*















Me and Bex enjoying the day.











Then had the most hectic week, swept off my feet!! Went for dinner at Ale's place on Monday, it was her birthday. I think JM might be slightly jealous that we all love her as much as we love him. But don't worry, we love you more. Sometimes.

Aw...Chad and all the girls.













Then on Tuesday, went for going down dinner. I'm pretending that I will be alumni at St Cross College soon.
Me and Mrs Kramer looking all bling bling for the evening. Can you tell we just RAN there from my flat?










Then worked Wednesday, slept on Thursday and another dinner on Friday. Phew!!

And today, history repeated itself. England lost to Portugal on penalties again. France beat Brazil.

And for the first time in such a long time, an all European semi-final. Might have to take time off on Tuesday and Wednesday. I mean, this only happens once every 4 years.

Don't take life too seriously...

I am beyond the depths of depression, if there is a hole further down than the lowest plumbs, then I in it right now. I can't sleep because my brain can't rest. The results that I spent the last 2 weeks on didn't work out.

It's too late to quit.

Is it?

Summer of music

Joy joy joy

I got a free ticket to the O2 wireless festival in London to see James Blunt plus guests for next Saturday.

Then off to Greenbelt to volunteer and watch loads of music, performances and maybe even listen to a couple of life-inspiring talks. Oh, and drink beer. Organic beer tent...mmm....

And because Switchfoot are no longer head-lining at Greenbelt, I thought I would just pop into London to see them. Since they've got Tree63 supporting them and I vaguely remember Tree63 at Greenbelt some point which means they were pretty good.

Rock n roll. :p

Thank you for smoking review

Went to see "Thank you for smoking". What a fabulous, side-splitting film. It's based on a book by Christopher Buckley. It's about Nick Naylor, a tobacco lobbyist who's probably one of the most hated men in the world. He and his friends the MOD (Merchants of Death) squad have lunch at Bert's and discuss their spin. They are a wonderfully politically incorrect bunch of people . The movie is great because it expects the audience to be intelligent, sort of. They are all spin-doctors, lobbyists fighting for their causes in a puritannical America. They speak of allowing for choice. And that's always good. The movie also involves Nick's relationship with his son Joey, showing how he can be a role model to his son even though his job isn't exactly great. There's a great scene where he goes to his son's school on a parent day and he has to explain his job in between a fireman and a pilot. But he manages to spin the kids, asking them to question everything and getting them to like him.


Fantastic piece of trivia. The act of smoking is not shown anywhere in the movie by anyone. Even when Nick reaches into his pocket to pull out a cigarette — his pack is empty.

Quotes
Joey Naylor: Dad, why is the American government the best government?
Nick Naylor: Because of our endless appeals system.

Nick Naylor: You know the guy who can pick up any girl? I'm him on crack.

Nick Naylor: Michael Jordan plays ball. Charles Manson kills people. I talk.

Go and watch the film! It's on a limited release in the States but that's the country that voted in Dubya for a second term...

Hit 'em down low

I made a fundamental elemental mistake in my data analysis. Something I should know better by now and I didn't even realise it. My supervisor had to send a threat via the internet to tell me that I'm worse than a dumb blonde.

How much lower can I feel about my work right now?

Shoot me where it hurts

The weather is amazing. England is truly beautiful when summer hits. I've been spending days in the parks "reading" while waiting for my experiments. Spoke to my supervisor who convinced me that I was worrying for no reason at all. I went to see him in a mild panic, explaining that I didn't think I was doing enough for my PhD. He's so confident in my work, it makes me feel that it's good enough. I hate it when doubt about what you do creeps in and makes you feel worthless.

It also doesn't help that one of my friends has already started writing up (on time, which is rare) and she's got a couple of papers published. Don't you hate perfectionists? Actually, no, we don't hate them. We're just jealous that people make it look so effortless when we work our sorry little asses off and yet we still can't be as good as they are. WTF is that all about right?

Been contemplating a lot about my life lately, I haven't been out much lately in hopes that it will spur me on to work but it's making me feel as if I'm too much of a geek (no hope there, I'm already a PhD student) and I'm bored. Stupendously bored out of my mind. Listening to strangely depressing, almost suicidal music doesn't help does it?

Went to watch Macbeth last night at New College. Personally, I don't go to student or amateur productions, why pay money for them? But I went because JM's woman (Ale) was in it. She played Witch 3. It was actually pretty good. Amazing for a student production. They styled it as a promenade play, so we started off in the mound of New College (it just looks more and more beautiful everytime I go in there, DAMN-IT, why am I in a shitty hell hole of a college?) then moved on to corner of a building, then the chapel and finally the inner quad of the college. I'm also not a big fan of the Bard but the play was interactive so it was pretty entertaining as well.
Thumbs up. Their run ends on Sunday and I think they might be sold out but if you can get your grubby little mitts on a couple, I encourage you to go.

World Cup has started. And it's joyous. Now to get a couple of rent-a-friends so I can go to the pub to watch football with them. Barring that, I might lower myself to watch footie with A. Actually, I wouldn't sink that low.

My World Cup predictons:
Group A, Germany, Ecuador (and that was before today's matches, I am NOT a bandwagon jumper)
Group B, England, Sweden
Group C, Argentina, Holland
Group D, Portugal, Iran
Group E, Italy, USA
Group F, Brazil, Japan
Group G, France, Switzerland
Group H, Spain, Saudi Arabia (although in hindsight, I should have gone for Ukraine)

And have been contemplating on life after PhD, so many places I could go but I get the distinct impression from my mother that I should be going home. Well, something of her going along the lines of "when you're home" probably gave me the idea. But I think I'd quite like the idea of maybe going to the States. Although, they pay really well in Singapore and it's closer to home. Choices that drive me insane.

It will also be my first "real job". How freaky, I will be contributing to society soon. Pay taxes and shit like that. How will I cope?

Enough crap for a Friday night. I will sleep early, go to work tomorrow, get some more sun and then hit the town. I'm done thinking, let's get partying. Life is what you make of it and if you spend too much time worrying about it, it'll be gone by the time you decide what you want to do!

Trip happy

As I was digging through old research last night, I found some results which I thought I could use.

Looks like the first year of my PhD isn't a waste after all. Tra la la la la

It's still touch and go to finish when I want to finish but thank you God!

The World Cup is descending

It starts in 3 days time, goes on for 4 weeks and only the best team in the world gets to gloat about it for 4 years.

Time to overdose on the beautiful game.

Big screens at the ready, it's time to shatter the hopes and dreams of the English yet again. Although I'm meant to be supporting England as it's the team I got from the sweepstakes at work.